You’re So Vain (Raise Hell)

Let’s be confident.

Let’s be arrogant.

Let’s talk about me.  

Now that so many of the major hurdles in my life are behind me, I can really focus on what matters most: MOVING FORWARD.  With that being said, I’m excited to announce that I’m happily doing me these days.  I’m worth investing in.  All along I’ve spoken about working on myself and am unabashedly pleased to do so.  I’m a fucking rockstar and will treat myself as such.  So much of my life was spent never thinking about myself or my needs, and that stops now.  Often we lose ourselves in the day to day minutia, and after the dumpster fire that was 2016, I’m never ever giving myself less than 💯 again.  Boom.

So in honor of me, I’m going to tout my good qualities in this post.  I am:

A good person

A good friend 

A good mother

A good partner (when applicable)

Charming

Funny

Smart

Patient

Understanding

Kind

Generous 

Knowledgeable

Fun AF

Principled

A wealth of useless factoids

Worthwhile 

Real

A Warrior

Honest

Motivated

Strong

Talented

Badass

More than anything I can’t stand people who drag others down with that “don’t be arrogant” BS.  Confidence is sexy, and people who acknowledge their abilities and gifts are 100% awesome in my book.  I wish more humans would do just that…be confident.  Stop second guessing yourself.  Stop saying you aren’t good enough.  Stop with the negativity already and embrace your inner superhero.  

I believe you.  I believe in me.  Together we’re unstoppable.

One Year of Love

Happy Anniversary to the Ditched Bitch Blog Experience!

One year…

It’s only been a year…

To me it feels like a thousand lifetimes have passed since I started blogging.  I  have been renewed.  I am happily reborn.  Not changed, per se, but invigorated and enhanced…I am gaining momentum toward becoming the best version of myself, and I’m not sure I could’ve undertaken such a complex journey without you: my friends, my family, and readers like you…you who unknowingly held my hand when I needed it most.  You have been my constant companions, and for that I thank you.

Here’s to many more!  Cheers!

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New America

My son woke me up early this morning to help him with his ROTC uniform.  Newly hemmed pants, starched, creased, and pressed.  Looking so sharp for a kid who hates to comb his hair and doesn’t care if his tshirt is wrinkled.  So much hope and promise in the eyes of our youth…our future.  

Then I remembered what day it was…

I watched my boy head off to school, knowing he was going to be home later than usual, due to his community service.  I’m always so proud of him, even though he drives me crazy (as teens are wont to do).  Yesterday’s “Day of Action” rallies in both Newark and Perth Amboy were rousing successes, and I was so excited for my (not so) little man to be a part of it.  He looked so serious holding his “Defend the D.R.E.A.M.” sign, while various and sundry community members voiced their support of “sanctuary schools”, and safe havens for all students, regardless of race, religion, sexuality, or creed.  

With the incoming governmental travesty occurring on this day, January 20th, 2017, I cannot help but be anxious…I cannot help but worry…I cannot feel safe in a country that values the rights of corporations and guns, over the rights of the people therein.  To see so many people oppressed, profiled, mocked and ridiculed for their beliefs…for the color of their skin.  What our president-elect does not understand is that which makes us different, makes us strong.  Diversity is power, and people are key.  We are stronger together.  

I will stand with you, brothers and sisters.  An injustice to one is an injustice to all, and I will happily fight at your side.  I will take your hand, and together we will weather not only this storm, and any storms that loom ominously on the horizon.  I will not stand idly by while people are harmed in the name of “new government”.  I will not be silent while injustice occurs.  I will never be still.  I will never allow hatred, racism, misogyny, or any other misdeed to become commonplace in my presence.  So long as I have breath in my body, I will lift you up.  We are one, and we aren’t going anywhere.

Unite.  

Fight.

Viva la Revolución!

Fade From Black ❤️

Oh month 10, you did not disappoint.  

New Jersey has been my temporary home for the past two weeks.  I’ve been inhabiting a fairly solitary hotel room, and working the most epic job imaginable.  I’m in Florida for the next two days, and Monday I fly back out to (oddly enough) the same hotel room for another two weeks.  November (I fly back to FL on the 4th) my son and I will move to Jersey permanently.  What a whirlwind, what an adventure, what a future full of hope and promise!  

I have never felt fulfilled pushing papers.  Though I never noticed the gaping hole in my soul until I was given wings and permission to fly.  Such a fabulous feeling to wake up, knowing that what you do makes a real difference.  

The move, however, is going to be madness.  With the fresh hell of the last “move” firmly embedded in my hippocampus, I’m likely to have flashbacks brought on by boxes and packing tape.  It’s a 15ish hour drive to NJ and a very kind friend of mine has offered to shoulder the burden that is driving the moving van with my car attached.  I am so super grateful he volunteered to tour the east coast with the kiddo and I.  

I’m going to look at a few places on Wednesday…and should have everything nailed down by the weekend (if all goes well).  It’ll be nice to have some place of our own, to start over, and be a family (of two) again.  Then we can get settled, and begin our holiday revelry (those of you who know me, know I’m a Christmas junkie).  I can’t wait to celebrate the holidays with my boy.  Now that I think about it, I’ve never celebrated a Christmas without a partner…that should make for some seriously deep introspection (I see much blogging in the coming months…lol).

Life is good.  Finally.   I am full of purpose and meaning and love and optimism.  I’m headed into a future that I feel strongly positive about.  I am able to stand firmly on my own two feet, and am open to any and all possibilities.  I’m excited for new experiences, new friends, and maybe something more.  

Stand By Me

My son saw his first dead body today.

Originally I had intended to write about the storm and my quiet day at work…and instead I am left feeling uneasy and more than a little shaken with regards to today’s events.  Yesterday I came home to multiple cops, and several fire trucks (lights…no sirens) outside of my apartment building.  I walked up the stairs to find no less than four policemen waiting in the breezeway.  One smiled, said hello, and asked if I lived in 202..I replied with “no, I live in 204” and went into my apartment.  My son had been home all day as schools are closed until Tuesday.  I asked him if he’d heard what was going on, and he said the only thing he knew was that there were a bunch of people outside.  Nothing more.  Everyone eventually exited the hallway and we went about our evening as usual.

Cut to today at lunch, when I get a text from my son saying that our next door neighbor (our doors are three feet apart) overdosed yesterday…I asked him how he knew and he said “because I saw him”.  I’m sorry, what?!!?!?  Apparently he had gone out to get the mail and was turned back very quickly by a policeman and a body on the ground…uncovered.  I talked to my boy for a little while…I think he was a little shaken up, but ultimately doing alright.  I on the other hand was in “mom mode” and internally freaking out.  What do I say?  How do I engage him without being super annoying?  How will I know if this becomes a problem?  Thoughts were racing through my head at a freakish pace, and I will admit to having a hard time keeping up.  Ultimately, I just let him know that I’m here if he needs to talk.  I mean, what else can I do?  What a bizarre situation…

Now, here’s my issue:

Did they leave this guy’s lifeless body in his apartment overnight?  #shudder #wtf

Has anyone else ever dealt with something like this?  If you have, please email me and give me some sort of advice…I feel a little lost (a common feeling as of late)…all of my details are available on this site.

Sigh…2016

**UPDATE: Our neighbor was murdered outside of our apartment.  He did not overdose as previously stated**