I’m Shipping Up To Boston (Blood & Whiskey)

May those who love us, love us;

And for those who don’t love us,

May God turn their hearts;

And if He doesn’t turn their hearts,

May He turn their ankles, 

So we will know them by their limping!

-Irish Blessing

Love is a funny thing.  Love takes you places you never thought you’d go; and down rabbit holes you’d never dare venture into otherwise.  Love is the blindfold that we wear in front of the firing squad.  Love is the pillow we smother ourselves with.  Love is a burden I’d rather not bear.  

Humans are such squishy, sentimental creatures, baring their souls to the masses daily (I, myself included).  Taking a hard look inward, I’ve noticed that I’m a disgustingly emotional hooman bean.  I cry at movies.  I keep mementos of times long since gone.  I occasionally write blogs about romance, and retreat deep into my psyche when love songs are heard.  I’m a sad grown-up version of my 15 year old self…and I abhor it.

I thought things would be different in my 30’s.  I figured by now I’d be married, or in a committed relationship with someone who gets me, and living the life I’m “supposed to”.  But honestly, I want nothing to do with that anymore.  Not saying that I never will again, but for now the thought is simply unappealing.  When you’ve got a face in your mind, and you’re unable to conjure said person, it makes dreaming again far more difficult.  A heart can only take so much.

Having a romantic soul is the epitome of masochism.  You dream, you hope, you lose, and then you wake up one day and do it all over again.  We’re such ridiculous creatures, unable to let go of the things that hurt us most.  Unwilling to change that which is intristic to our being.  We just don’t know how to let go…nor do we want to.  It’s a catch-22 of bullshit and never-ending disappointment.  

So, on this St Patrick’s Day weekend, I wish you luck, because love is nothing but a pain in the ass.  🍀

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You’re So Vain (Raise Hell)

Let’s be confident.

Let’s be arrogant.

Let’s talk about me.  

Now that so many of the major hurdles in my life are behind me, I can really focus on what matters most: MOVING FORWARD.  With that being said, I’m excited to announce that I’m happily doing me these days.  I’m worth investing in.  All along I’ve spoken about working on myself and am unabashedly pleased to do so.  I’m a fucking rockstar and will treat myself as such.  So much of my life was spent never thinking about myself or my needs, and that stops now.  Often we lose ourselves in the day to day minutia, and after the dumpster fire that was 2016, I’m never ever giving myself less than 💯 again.  Boom.

So in honor of me, I’m going to tout my good qualities in this post.  I am:

A good person

A good friend 

A good mother

A good partner (when applicable)

Charming

Funny

Smart

Patient

Understanding

Kind

Generous 

Knowledgeable

Fun AF

Principled

A wealth of useless factoids

Worthwhile 

Real

A Warrior

Honest

Motivated

Strong

Talented

Badass

More than anything I can’t stand people who drag others down with that “don’t be arrogant” BS.  Confidence is sexy, and people who acknowledge their abilities and gifts are 100% awesome in my book.  I wish more humans would do just that…be confident.  Stop second guessing yourself.  Stop saying you aren’t good enough.  Stop with the negativity already and embrace your inner superhero.  

I believe you.  I believe in me.  Together we’re unstoppable.

One Year of Love

Happy Anniversary to the Ditched Bitch Blog Experience!

One year…

It’s only been a year…

To me it feels like a thousand lifetimes have passed since I started blogging.  I  have been renewed.  I am happily reborn.  Not changed, per se, but invigorated and enhanced…I am gaining momentum toward becoming the best version of myself, and I’m not sure I could’ve undertaken such a complex journey without you: my friends, my family, and readers like you…you who unknowingly held my hand when I needed it most.  You have been my constant companions, and for that I thank you.

Here’s to many more!  Cheers!

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New America

My son woke me up early this morning to help him with his ROTC uniform.  Newly hemmed pants, starched, creased, and pressed.  Looking so sharp for a kid who hates to comb his hair and doesn’t care if his tshirt is wrinkled.  So much hope and promise in the eyes of our youth…our future.  

Then I remembered what day it was…

I watched my boy head off to school, knowing he was going to be home later than usual, due to his community service.  I’m always so proud of him, even though he drives me crazy (as teens are wont to do).  Yesterday’s “Day of Action” rallies in both Newark and Perth Amboy were rousing successes, and I was so excited for my (not so) little man to be a part of it.  He looked so serious holding his “Defend the D.R.E.A.M.” sign, while various and sundry community members voiced their support of “sanctuary schools”, and safe havens for all students, regardless of race, religion, sexuality, or creed.  

With the incoming governmental travesty occurring on this day, January 20th, 2017, I cannot help but be anxious…I cannot help but worry…I cannot feel safe in a country that values the rights of corporations and guns, over the rights of the people therein.  To see so many people oppressed, profiled, mocked and ridiculed for their beliefs…for the color of their skin.  What our president-elect does not understand is that which makes us different, makes us strong.  Diversity is power, and people are key.  We are stronger together.  

I will stand with you, brothers and sisters.  An injustice to one is an injustice to all, and I will happily fight at your side.  I will take your hand, and together we will weather not only this storm, and any storms that loom ominously on the horizon.  I will not stand idly by while people are harmed in the name of “new government”.  I will not be silent while injustice occurs.  I will never be still.  I will never allow hatred, racism, misogyny, or any other misdeed to become commonplace in my presence.  So long as I have breath in my body, I will lift you up.  We are one, and we aren’t going anywhere.

Unite.  

Fight.

Viva la Revolución!

Hi-Ho Silver Lining 

Today’s been rather problematic for me emotionally.  Not sure what happened this morning, but I woke up exceedingly out of sorts…alternately sad and confused by said sadness.  I’m still unable to process the reason behind the obvious low point…it seems just beyond my grasp.  

Understandably, this time of year is difficult for those of us whose loved ones are thousand of miles away (California and Florida, respectively).  Plus not having my stuff has been a trying experience, to be sure.  Long work hours, and lack of social life round out my daily activities.  This move hasn’t been an easy one, but I’m hoping that it’ll be a rewarding one…considering all I’ve left behind.  

I see a lot of potential in my future.  Some things may be in the works, other things rapidly gaining velocity.  None of it is easy, but  it’s proving to be more than rewarding.  Though there might be hurdles, I’m willing to work through it all.  I’m never able to give less than 100%, and I’m ok with that.  I’ll risk it all for something great.

Being able to put words to “page” (as it were), has helped me breathe again.  Reframe and refocus.  Still not at full capacity, but gaining ground and purposefully moving forward…even if where I’m going is foreign. 

Stick with me, kids…on to adventure.  

❤️

The 11th Hour

“The time has come,” the Walrus said,

“To talk of many things:

Of shoes–and ships–and sealing-wax–

Of cabbages–and kings–

And why the sea is boiling hot–

And whether pigs have wings.”

Today I stand on a precipice.  I am not where I was, nor am I where I will be.  I’m in transition.  I am a carefully traced leaf set aloft on the winds of change.  So many things on the horizon, so much to be done.  I am so very excited to finally let you in on my new journey.  

Tomorrow I leave for New Jersey.  I have accepted a position as a union organizer…my dream job.  I’ve never allowed myself to dream, until now, and I am both terrified and elated at the prospect of a new life.  I will be there for two weeks, learning the job, meeting members and staff, and familiarizing myself with the area.  Things have been in the works for about a month (hence my brief hiatus from you, dear reader), but now that I have a moment to catch my breath, I thought I’d bring you all up to speed.

Earlier this week I was a part of a hellacious moving experience that I won’t go into here (I so don’t want to relive even a second of that bullshit).  Just know that everything is in storage, and I’m sleeping on an air mattress in my friend’s front room.  Tristan and I are technically homeless for the time being.  Homeless but hopeful, I suppose…lol

I have had two last days at work this week.  Leaving both Sephora and HWI were emotional, to say the least.  I’ve become rather sentimental in my old age.  I am unable to express the depth of my love for each and every one of you…without my friends and my family, I am nothing and I am no one.  

So, onward and upwards (literally…to the North!) I go.  I’m taking the first step in a multi-layered adventure, and I’m so incredibly excited (and scared, did I mention scared???).  But I’ve got this…I always do.  2016 is starting to look up, and I couldn’t be more pleased.  

Here’s to new friends…

Here’s to new adventures…

Here’s to a new life…

❤️