Long Black Veil

Had my faith sorely tested, and my trust in people shattered.  Someone who at one time I would’ve entrusted with my life, wound up being just as big of a liar and a fraud as every other man I’ve had the misfortune of being attached to.  It’s a blow to my psyche, and a worrisome chipping away of my only happy memories of 2016.  

A man I had thought myself in love with (at one time), who proclaimed he’d give me the world, and never ceased telling me that I was the most beautiful woman in existence, turned out to be a lying sleazebag of epic proportions.  

Playing two women at the same time.  Telling one he loved her, while romancing another.  Continually talking to one after securing another in a “monogamous” fashion.  Sexualizing one, while actually sleeping with another.  

I was cheated on…he was cheated on…and now it’s he who has become that which he so despised.  I’m disgusted and dissolutioned.  

I talked about him as though he were noble and kind.  I excused his bad behavior because I thought it all came from a place of goodness, of necessity, of caring.  I wrote as though the sun rose and set with him…because at the time, it did.  Turns out he did not deserve any such praise, nor any forgiveness from me.  

He always said he wanted me to be angry at him, to rail against him for what he did to me.  I could never bring myself to be upset with him.  I’d felt that he was justified in his actions and above reproach.  It.  Was.  All.  Lies.  It was never anything but lies.  

Now I’m angry.  

Now I’m hurt.

Now I’m done.

Luckily, that’s what you always wanted.  

So here’s a big-beer-and-music-drenched “FUCK YOU” from me.  I hope you choke on it.