Bridge Over Troubled Water

Step back.

Take a deep breath.

Remember that you are a capable, smart, and competent individual that carries value.  You are not a superfluous cog left over in the IKEA box that is life.  You are not a third wheel, and life is not actively shitting on you, your goals, or your dreams.  You are someone.  You matter.

Feeling under-appreciated and lacking in purpose is a real issue for me.  I look forward to the day when I’m able to feel fulfilled, and necessary in my everyday dealings.  I want people to look at me and know the value I possess.  I don’t want “But what about Amy?” to be a lifelong issue.  Like the last person perpetually picked for kickball.  I’m worth more than that.

Occasionally I make big life decisions: have a baby, get married, get divorced, get married again, get divorced again, move to FL, move to CA, move back to FL, get married a third time, move to NJ, get divorced x3…are any of these ever going to be the right decision?  At any point in my life will I be able to confidently say “This was right.”?  Will the pieces ever fall into place?  Can the square pegs of my life be jammed into the round holes I’m presented with?  Seriously universe, what gives?

In the midst of all of these issues, I can feel myself emotionally drowning.  I’m in a depressive state, and it’s hard to see the big picture when you’re inundated with minutiae. So knowing where I am is the first step…

But where do I belong?

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