Oh Boston, you did not disappoint. Music and merriment, songs and sweat and surprises. You were beautiful. Your lights bright, and your high rises sky-worthy. The chill in the air was no match for the warmth in my heart.
Adventure awaits if you’re ready. Beyond the horizon the sun is rising. Spontaneity is king…and even if I never see you again, for one brief shining moment we were one. Thank you for your hospitality…it’s something I’ll never forget as long as I live.
As 2016 comes to its painfully slow closure, I’d like to do a little bit of a retrospective on my life as I’ve known it the past year. It’s been a long and arduous journey, but here I stand…still driven, and better than I’ve ever been.
January 1st my husband left me. This was the most wonderful thing that could’ve ever happened. I was thrown from my world of passionless complacency and thrust into a life of unknown possibilities. I wasn’t happy in my marriage, and I didn’t know it until I was free. After being single for a year, I’m happy to report that I didn’t die of loneliness, and I am fully able to function independently of another human being. Now that I’ve leveled the playing field, I’m able to contemplate a life with another person…but because I WANT TO, not because I can’t be alone.
I’ve lost people this year. Martin was especially difficult on me, though I proudly wear his art on my body forever. I miss you, and I know wherever you are, you’re smiling down on me and probably schooling everyone in the afterlife on fine literature and philosophy. I will never forget our discussions while he tattooed me, or how he always loved to tell me I was his favorite client.
Through intense self-reflection I grew as a person. I was able to look forward through my general malaise and blaze a trail never before taken. I’ve changed jobs…and states…and lifestyles. This blog has helped immensely in my growth and aided in moving me toward normalcy. I’ve been so proud that people have contacted me along the way, sharing how my blog helped them in their lives and during their darker moments. Thats what it’s all about. A constant work in progress. Learning that I’m stronger than my adversity. That I’m better than my circumstances.
I’ve loved and lost.
I’ve cried and raged.
I’ve moved mountains and quieted my mind.
I’ve come so far.
Now is when life starts to get good. This moment is all we have, and to not make the most of every single one is a great disservice to ourselves. Tell that person you’ve been harboring feelings for that you care. Tell your family and friends how much you love and value them. Hug often and laugh always. Keep breathing. Keep dreaming. Keep loving. Keep living. Keep moving forward. Don’t waste a single minute on things that don’t matter. Be you and be happy.
Today’s been rather problematic for me emotionally. Not sure what happened this morning, but I woke up exceedingly out of sorts…alternately sad and confused by said sadness. I’m still unable to process the reason behind the obvious low point…it seems just beyond my grasp.
Understandably, this time of year is difficult for those of us whose loved ones are thousand of miles away (California and Florida, respectively). Plus not having my stuff has been a trying experience, to be sure. Long work hours, and lack of social life round out my daily activities. This move hasn’t been an easy one, but I’m hoping that it’ll be a rewarding one…considering all I’ve left behind.
I see a lot of potential in my future. Some things may be in the works, other things rapidly gaining velocity. None of it is easy, but it’s proving to be more than rewarding. Though there might be hurdles, I’m willing to work through it all. I’m never able to give less than 100%, and I’m ok with that. I’ll risk it all for something great.
Being able to put words to “page” (as it were), has helped me breathe again. Reframe and refocus. Still not at full capacity, but gaining ground and purposefully moving forward…even if where I’m going is foreign.
Stick with me, kids…on to adventure.