My spaceman returned to earth today…for one brief moment. Unfortunately it was just to touch down and say his goodbyes.
He was never sure of his feelings. He desperately wanted everything to be true, but perhaps in his heart, it was not. We had an obvious connection, and he latched onto it and made it something more than it was. He cares about me…and he missed me…but he just isn’t in a place to be with anyone right now.
My heart is broken. I cried when we were texting, I cried while talking to him…and I will continue crying until there’s nothing left. I have nothing left to give but tears. He already has my heart, no matter how many pieces it’s broken into. It will remain his even when put back together. I want no other.
As everyone knows, my son is my rock, and he hates it when I cry. He held me and said into my ear “text him at least once a week…and keep him in your heart…I know that you love him…never let him go…you keep him and hope in your heart…it’s all we have…and maybe someday he’ll come back to you…”. Needless to say I sobbed and realized he was right. Without hope I am nothing. Without love, even less.
When you have met the other half of yourself, it’s impossible to let them go. It truly would be the grandest of all mistakes go give up and let go…the love would still be there. The feelings and the desire would still exist. Love is forever.
So today I stand before you a broken woman. I am a woman missing her other half. I am only a fraction of what I could be, and will continue to be so for as long as it takes to reconnect. I will wait. He has said that it’s unfair to ask me to wait, but wait I shall. I will be faithful in all things, because in my heart I know that this is true and right. Some things really are meant to be.
He might not be sure today, or tomorrow, or six months from now. But I’m ready, and with a clear mind I pledge to be happy on my own until such time as I perhaps get another chance. Because once you’ve had it all, nothing else will do.