I’m having a rough day. These days come and they go, but no two are ever alike. This one feels like tears, tempered with a hot side of bubbling anger. It aches, yet is soft and slithery like a daytime nightmare. It’s every moment lacking in basic human clarity…what I’m trying to say, is I’m really tired of hurting and I want it all to go away.
First off, I’m lonely. I tend to require a lot of attention (not in a negative way, of course)…so being without a significant other leaves me twisting in the wind, begging for any scraps being thrown to me by the unwashed masses. I miss having someone to dote on, someone to take care of, someone to love…someone to love me as well. I can’t rely on my son or my friends to compensate for the loneliness I feel. This is a road I must travel on my own.
Strength comes from within. The hardest part of my journey is remembering that it’s ok to be sad, and it’s ok to be angry. I’m strong enough to feel every feeling and come back stronger. What doesn’t kill me, and all of that…
There’s a phenomenal Christmas movie (a Rankin-Bass film for you retro cinema nerds), and one of the film’s seminal movie moments is the song “Put one foot in front of the other…and soon you’ll be walking across the floor…put one foot in front of the other…and soon you’ll be walking out the door…”. Baby steps…every day is another step. Though I occasionally feel hobbled, I will never stop trying. Soon, I’ll be walking out the door. ❤️
Sooooo I’ve been MIA for awhile. It’s been a rough few months and I really had to take a few seats and reevaluate my life as it exists in 2016. Things have definitely changed. T decided not to try anymore and we called it quits (well, he called it quits). I thought it would devastate me and set me back in my journey of positivity…but I’m happy to report that I’m going about my business, and am a shining example of the good that can come of living a life to the fullest.
I’ve been spending a lot of time with my son, as well as with wonderful friends (see previous post on how freaking epic my friends are), and thought occasionally I find myself getting introspective or hitting some sort of low point, it’s never for very long and I always come out on the other side that much stronger. I remain a badass, and for that I am truly grateful (also, why is it not spelled “greatful”…seriously, why?).
So here I sit on a beautiful Sunday, burnt af…lol…feeling so beyond blessed. Met some amazing people today at the Bearded Villains Meet here in the sunny Tampa Bay Area. I’m excited to be a part of it and I see some good things coming on the horizon. ⚔👑
Recently I got a new job (no more garbage people hours…lol) and I couldn’t be more thrilled for the way my life is headed. The people there are awesome and I have very high hopes…and maybe a little something more? I suppose we shall see 😉
Residents of Blogtown:
What would you like me to blog about?
What would you like to see more of this 2016?
Fell free to shoot me an email or comment on the blog and together we’ll keep this party going!