These days I feel as though I’m constantly receiving bad news…from the typical “thanks, but no thanks” from potential employers to unanswered texts and every talented celebrity ever keeling over with a quickness (thanks a lot, 2016).
Does all of this bad news and constant rejection get me down? Of course it does. Do I let it keep me down? Oh hell no.
I see life like one big infomercial:
“Hey, Amy! Husband left you? Got a job you hate? Feel lonely? Well, I’ve got some news for you! You’re going to go on regardless of what happens to you! You’re going to put one foot in front of the other and try not to obsess about all of the garbage you’re wading through! Think you can’t? Too bad! You have to!”
But wait! There’s more!
“With all of this bad comes comes…(wait for it)…MORE BAD NEWS! It never ends! Your ups will always be countered by more downs! AND THAT’S OK! Without downs, you’d never know what ups were! So get it together! Put things into perspective and move on! There’s always something new on the horizon! It may be good, and it may be terrible! Life is one big, strange grab bag of hoozi-whatsits and gobbledygook…and guess what…FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY…it’s all yours!”
It’s what you do with what you’ve got and how you deal with what you’re given that really matters.
You’ve got this. You really do. If you don’t…then talk to someone you trust. It’s ok to reach out. It’s ok to feel vulnerable, and it is most definitely ok to lean on others. I do.
Keep talking, keep focus, keep processing, keep it 💯. ❤️
When it’s overcast outside and the rains come (as they often do), smiles tend to be few and far between. It’s on days like these that I find myself to be the most introspective and reflective. No one can be happy all of the time. Needing to acknowledge and understand these feelings are paramount in the grieving process. So here goes nothing…
I miss my husband. I feel like there’s a hole in my heart and in my life. If anything happens, good or bad, he’s always the first person I think to reach out to. He’s been my best friend for so long and now everything’s changed. I went from daily contact to not seeing him in a week. I’ve never felt more lonely. I miss our family.
These feelings are valid, but I cannot…I will not let them rule me. They are always a part of me, and I won’t deny that, but I also won’t let them take over my life. I’m not alone. I am not alone.
The hardest thing to remember during a life change or crisis is:
Keep Moving Forward
Smile, it’s good for you.
You are enough.
I’ll leave you with this last thought: if you actively smile for 30 seconds you will release enough endorphins to get you through the next 30 seconds, and so on and so forth. So keep smiling, kids. I know I’m going to, even if it just to get me through the next 30 seconds. They add up, I promise.
I have the best friends and family in the world. Let me go ahead and get that out of the way first. From my faraway friends/family, to the #squab right here in Tampa…all are unequalled. Having a rockstar support system is a contributing factor in why I haven’t gone batty throughout this egregious situation.
We talk, we commiserate, we drink. All of these things give me insight into why I am who I am. You all complete me. You’re there to lend an ear, give advice, and if you’re Casey, you come over with a bottle of rum and a giant wheel full of cheese and sausages. You complete me.
After my husband left me, I didn’t know which way was up. You bolstered my spirits and you (and my wonderful son), helped me to get my footing and move forward in a constructive manner. I thought that no one was more surprised than I was when T left…the girls were at least as surprised as I was (if not more so). So I didn’t feel alone. They encourage me, they keep me grounded and some FaceTime me just to tell me I’m amazing and that she loves me.
I’m blessed. Truly blessed. I’m never so engulfed by my situation that I don’t give thanks for those who through blood or through circumstance have become my family.
So this is for you. Thank you. ❤️
My husband left me on New Year’s Day. This was a devastating blow to my psyche, as I had no idea we were even having problems, let alone the severity of his thoughts on the matter.
Don’t let this knowledge get you down, blog reader, I’m just getting started. This painful and traumatizing event lead to the eventual blossoming of a path to my own betterment. Not for any man, oh certainly not…but for me. Glorious, glorious ME!
This is my journey (clichéd yes, but true nonetheless) to self-actualization, self-realization, self-love, and all of the feelings that go along with that.
In this blog I’m going to be talking about pure, and unadulterated facts and feelings…such as:
Going to marriage counseling with the man that left me.
Dealing with the aftermath (aka damage control) in both myself and my teenaged son.
Positive steps to getting by.
Negative issues that I’m having a hard time getting passed.
Life as I see it.
The movie “Step Brothers”, as it pertains to my daily activities.
AND SO MUCH MORE!
“One day at a time” isn’t just a piece of nostalgic 80’s tv programming…it’s the mantra that basically explains how I’m currently living my life. When uncertainty creeps in, it’s a good bet that the future won’t be anything but murky. So how does one move forward when you have no clear path?
Take it one day at a time!
This however, is easier said than done. For me, it takes a lot of grounding techniques, deep breathing, obsessive writing, and the occasional mental meltdown to get myself into the mindset of being “present”. I can’t promise smoothness and ease, but I am able to guarantee a modicum of momentum in the positive direction of your choosing. Just keep at it. That’s the trick. All I do is fall short, and fall flat…but luckily as long as I keep trying I’m able to keep myself in the moment.
It’s ok to feel things. It’s ok to be sad. It’s ok to be angry. It’s ok to make mistakes. No one should be expected to paste a smile on their face 24/7. That’s not reality. Just tempering those feelings with positive counterpoints will aid you in pulling yourself out of it. My son and I have this coping technique where if we have a negative thought, we have to come up with two positive thoughts about the same subject. Gaining perspective on the negatives allows us to reframe our perspective and reshape our point of reference.
STOP LIVING IN THE PAST!
I realized that my caps-lock was on after typing this…but I think it belongs in caps. Do not allow the past to become your prison! You are not your past. Your past might have shaped who you are, but it does not define you and it most certainly does not dictate your future. Once you realize that you can stop tripping over the obstacles you’ve placed in your own way, preventing you from moving in the right direction.
So I got a little “self-help” on this post…lol
I promise to not always be this serious…but some things just need to be committed to “paper”, if you get my drift.